Why do I hate change? Change destroys my illusion of control, threatens my security, and removes me from my comfort zone. I often find myself overwhelmed, trying to resist change. It takes a lot of energy to constantly adapt to new things, and I prefer stability and familiarity. Change can cause a lot of anxiety, especially when I pointlessly fight against it. I’m learning new perspectives and strategies that are helping me overcome my fear of change, and I hope that they will help you too.
Not all Change is Bad
First, it is important to remember that change is actually a good thing. It brings to pass God’s will and helps us grow. Change is the means of God’s will unfolding. We know that God is sovereign and ordains everything that comes to pass. It is comforting to know that He is in control, even when things are hard to understand. The most amazing change is our status change: we were once lost and dying sinners, but have now become God’s redeemed children. We need to focus on the good, positive things that change brings. Try looking at your situation from a different perspective. How can this change help you grow? How will this change help you better serve God?
Find Comfort in Knowing God Never Changes
As the world is spinning and I am lost in the dizziness, I find solace in the stability of God. He never changes. Numbers 23:19 teaches us that God is not human. He does not lie or change His mind. He always keeps His promises. I love that God holds us in His hand (John 10:29) and no one can snatch us away from Him. It is wonderfully comforting to recognize that we are not saved by our human grasp on Jesus, but rather by His unfailing and unchanging grasp on us.
Flex Your Creativity Muscle
It is very tempting to become complacent, especially for someone like me who tries to avoid change like the plague. I like things to stay the same so that I can live in my comfort zone and feel secure. However, just as living a sedentary lifestyle is unhealthy for the body, living complacently is unhealthy for the mind. Change exercises our creativity. We must use ingenuity to find ways to adapt to a constantly changing world. This is actually healthy and increases our ability to be flexible and respond to difficult situations. Try changing your perspective. Seek out creative, better ways to solve problems and deal with changes rather than believing the old way is always the best way.
Renew Your Mind by Changing Your Thinking
Fear and worry cause us to ruminate on negative “what-if” thoughts over and over. I know I am not the only one who has remained awake all night, muscles tight, mind repeatedly pounding against the wall of anxiety. Worrying is like a road that our mind gets used to taking. We need a map to guide our brain down a positive path and break the habit of negative thinking. I’ve found it helpful to write down a new script, filled with truth from God’s word. Philippians 4:8 tells us to “fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” I like to recite these reminders out loud during my quiet time, and I can also turn to them when I find myself down the old negative path again. Here are some of the truths in my “script”.
- Change is ordained and overseen by God and he uses change to bring about His will.
- Change allows us to grow creatively by causing us to flex our creative muscles.
- While change is inevitable, our unchanging God is dependable.
- God has never let me down in the past. Remember all the times He has helped me through pain and struggles. Praise Him for those times because they show that I can depend on Him!
- Where God guides, He provides. (My grandmother told me this one.)
Avoid Critics, Listen to Your Advocates
If you are constantly listening to negative people, it can reinforce your old thinking. Try to avoid overly critical people. If you can’t avoid them, counter their influence by spending time with positive, uplifting encouragers. Make a list of people who you consider advocates. These are the people who lift you up and speak truth into your life. They listen without judgement and encourage you with sound Biblical advice.
I have found that my inner critic is my harshest critic, (and I can’t avoid myself!). When hard changes come, I find myself thinking things like, “This happened because you are not __________ enough.” I blame myself for not controlling situations that I have no control over and I refuse to give myself grace. Spending time with my advocates and encouragers helps negate my inner critic, and to remember to recite my new script instead.
“Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.” Proverbs 12:25 NLT
Embrace Vulnerability! It’s Okay to not be Perfect!
Change involves trying new things and being ready to adapt quickly. This will involve trial and error and learning from mistakes. We will not always be experts, and that is okay. Give yourself grace! Change takes time. Don’t get overwhelmed by trying to do too much at once. Focus on little steps and get a little better each day. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
I hope that these strategies will help you work through negative feelings about change. My goal is to learn to embrace change rather than fear it. I pray that you will be strengthened with endurance and patience and that you will be filled with joy.
Love,
Danielle
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